


Innocence Can Kill You

by radholladay



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anorexia, Depression, Other, Schizophrenia, Self Harm, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-01-22
Packaged: 2018-01-09 14:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1147130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radholladay/pseuds/radholladay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose was always a different child; she saw the world differently. She was visited by her one and only friend - Paisley. She was the one who brought her down to hell, and she was the one who would eventually let her fly.</p>
<p>If you're easily triggered by mentions of self harm/suicide attempts and/or mental illnesses please don't read this; or read it with caution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Innocence Can Kill You

**Author's Note:**

> This is just chapter one of what I have so far; thank you for reading this. Don't forget to comment and leave kudos :)

I sat on the cold metal bench by the mountain cliff, taking in the beauty of the city below. Sometimes, just sometimes I think I can fly. Think I can soar above the city, completely weightless, in complete bliss. But then it hits me, I'm not weightless, I'm not able to fly, and I slowly sink back to earth on the cold metal bench. This cold bench, it's completely black, it's got wads of gum underneath it, which I still stick my hands in on accident sometimes, even with all it's flaws, it's still the best thing I've ever seen in my life. It's beautiful, just like nature, oh how I wish I was part of nature, to feel the eyes of the sun staring down at me, nurturing me, completing me. But, nature is something I can never be, nature is something completely breathtaking, and the only breaths I take, cause ache and pain in my ribs.

My friend, Paisley had once tried to fly. I'm not quite sure what her actual intentions were, but she's gone now. My mom told me that talking to someone would help me, it would make me feel better, she said it would help me get over Paisley, she didn't believe in Paisley. She didn't believe that she was actually there, but she was, she always was. "I am not setting a place for some fucking joke of yours" she would tell me, "Rose, you need to stop imagining Paisley, she is not real" she would bicker back at me. But Paisley has always been real; she helped me become who she was. She helped me become invisible. 

Paisley was a pale girl, she always had been. She had the most delicate hair I had ever seen; it was a perfect mix of light red and blond. It was always flowing behind her, like she was always flying. She had told me she always had wanted to fly; she always wanted to be a part of the world, to travel many beautiful places. She wanted to find someone who would love her for her flaws; she would tell me she was full of them. But when I looked at her, I saw no flaws, I saw a human who had been through so much pain, and so much torture, yet they were so strong. I had dreamed of being as strong as her, of being as breathtaking as her. Paisley told me to never compare her to nature, since she was never capable of being love, of feeling emotions, of being whole again. 

I had a troubled past, it's obvious by my flaws. Paisley was there in my darkest times, when I needed someone who was strong. My mother was an alcoholic; she could blow away in the wind. "Anorexia" they call it, that's what she had, they were worried I would be raised up with her lifestyle, so they put me with my dad. "Schizophrenia" is what they said I had, around then is when Paisley started fading. They told my dad to take care of me, to keep me safe. They told me Paisley was dangerous, how could someone who just wanted love be dangerous? She kept me alive when my mom was getting bad, she surly can't be dangerous to my life. 

Paisley liked to have me call her princess, she told me it made her feel loved. She walked like a goddess, like she floated amongst us. She never was with me when I first fell in love, the first mistake I made in my life. I gave this boy my everything, I gave him my love, and he just tore me down. After he was gone, Paisley was there stronger than ever, she said she could feel my emotions, and now she said I could understand her need to fly. She told me the only way to forget about him was to free him from my thoughts, and she said the only way was with a blade and my skin. I didn't like her idea at first, but she showed me the flowers on her hips, she drew beautiful paisleys on herself. I told her I wanted to fly like her, that I wanted to be light like her, I wanted to be breathtaking. 

I tried to get Paisley to stay, I stopped taking my candies, but she called me a traitor. She said I couldn't be a princess if I was trying to block her out. She made me draw dozens of roses on my hips, she made me light. She made me one with nature. Paisley was a princess, and I was her princess. I thought nothing could go wrong, until my dad found me trying to fly. He found me with roses on my hips, and lies on my lips.


End file.
